Throttle Crack Awakening.

Tonight,
I ventured back into
the belly of the beast.
I willingly,
walked into the maelstrom.
I tempted fate.

Fifteen years ago,
I parted ways
with a club.
There was no official organization back then.
We were just a group,
a rag tag army,
of like minded gear heads and fools.
It was an unspoken
allegiance.

I had your back,
and you had mine.

We were young,
and outlaws.
We ran the Point.
Open pipes on Knuckleheads,
and headers on Galaxies.
We would meet at Mel's.
We were kids,
and all we had was time.
When the tribe gathered,
it was an event.
We were respected,
envied,
and feared.

While my roommates from college were drinking Martinis
in plush and well appointed social clubs;
I was shooting eight ball and drinking Pabst,
in a dirty and dangerous bar at the far end of the waterfront,
with thieves, rogues, bullies and fallen saints.
I had found my home.
You could loose yourself
in the blue exhaust
of a cold winters night;
and the ear shattering
strum and drang
of steel rubbing against steel,
in a futile attempt
to run farther and faster.
We were thick as thieves.

Until,
we stole from each other,
and betrayed,
the trust that bound us together.

Pettiness,
ego,
and a need for comfort and love,
eventually
drove us apart.

When I walked away,
I was marked.
Black balled.
I was the walking dead.
I was shunned.

And tonight,
I walked back into
and amongst
my old friends and enemies.

They are a legitimate club now.
They have colors
and rank.
They have a waiting list
of lost souls
that want to belong.
And I must say
that the allure of the camaraderie
is tempting.

But before all the pomp
and protocol,
we were outlaws, rogues, bullies, thieves, and saints.
I could be one of them now,
but I know better.
I am,
what we were.
I don't need or want colors
on my jacket.
It would be nice to belong,
but it's all just little boy games.

The rumble and crash
of oiled iron and steel,
pulls us back and together.
But social politics
and popularity
keeps us apart.

I am a rogue,
an outlaw,
a thief,
a bully,
and a saint.

I am what they want and need,
but cannot have and lost.

Tonight,
I ventured back into the belly of the beast.
I walked into the maelstrom.
I tempted fate.
I reconnected with brothers,
and found peace.

And confirmed
that I don't,
and never did
belong.